UncommonTEEN: The Podcast for Christian Teen Girls

27. Crushes, Flirting and Dating...Are They Okay? Part 3

July 12, 2021 Jamie Kirschner
UncommonTEEN: The Podcast for Christian Teen Girls
27. Crushes, Flirting and Dating...Are They Okay? Part 3
Show Notes

With dating being so prevalent today, it seems like it’s just normal to have a boyfriend and if you don’t then there has to be something wrong with you. If that’s something you have believed, I encourage you not to believe that lie. 

I had a friend in high school whose sole purpose in high school was to get a boyfriend. She felt like she was a nobody unless she had one. She would try so hard that she would change who she was just to get a guy to notice her. Do you know that she never did get a boyfriend while in high school…or in college for that matter, but when God did bring her the right guy, he was the one that she married?

I wish I could say the same thing about me. I cannot. I didn’t become a Christian until I was a senior in high school and I lived by the world’s standards when it came to wanting to have a boyfriend. I think my first boyfriend was in 8th grade. I took some time off after that and my next one was in 10th grade. The guy I dated in 10th grade manipulated me and abused me and it was hard to break free from that relationship. When I was a senior in high school, I started dating a guy who was a Christian, but it was a very toxic relationship. Then, when I went to college, I declared that I was not going to date or get married until I was 80. I was done with all the drama and abuse. However, my sophomore year of college, a guy attached himself to me…and began to manipulate me and tell me that he was going to hurt himself if I walked away from the “relationship.” I wish that I knew then what I know now. It would have saved me a lot of years of pain and anger and abuse. 

That’s one of the biggest reasons that I want to talk to you about this subject. I’m not here to tell you if you should or should not date or even at what age you should date, but I want to help you see principles from the Bible so that you can know if and when you’re ready to date, give you some ideas of what dating should look like and also talk to you about how to avoid similar situations to what I found myself in.

 As I found out personally and see so often among the teens that I get to work with in youth ministry, the way that this world sees dating is setting us up for failure for our future. It teaches us that it’s okay for people to use us, to manipulate us, that it’s okay to push the limits. But the truth is, there is a lot of pain and a lot of scars that are left behind because of it. Maybe you have found yourself in similar situations to what I shared, know that our God is a healer, that you can start fresh today, and there is hope for an incredible future for you as well.

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