117. AMA: How do we stop comparing ourselves to “pretty girls “or “popular girls?”

I used to be the queen of comparison. Every single time I would walk into a room, the first thing I would do is search out who was in the room. 

I was not from a family who had a lot of money. We got new clothes once a year and that was right before school started, and they weren’t from the mall. They were the cheapest clothes that we could buy. So, as you can probably tell, they weren’t the nicest clothes, or the newest trends and I hated it. 

I remember one time, while in middle school, staying the night at my grandma’s house on a school night. I didn’t go home before coming to her house, so I didn’t have any clothes to wear to school the next day…and there was no way that I was going to where the same clothes two days in a row, even if I did wash them. My grandma had some extra clothes laying around her house, but the only thing that would fit me was a skirt. This skirt was long and had pink flowers. At that time, long skirts were not fashionable; skirts that were down to your knees were. I had a black shirt that I wore the day before, so I went ahead and wore that again with this skirt. Only, I wasn’t going to go out of the house looking like what I had thought at the time of as an old lady. Ha-ha…so, what I did was I rolled up the waste of this skirt until it was knee length. Do you know how much of a bulge I had at my waste from the extra fabric? 

Oh, my goodness! I was so embarrassed. I know, I know. Please forgive me, I was in middle school at the time…what did I know? I had a problem with always comparing myself to others, but this day, I really had a problem comparing myself to everyone around me. As a result of constantly comparing myself to everyone around me, I fell into what I like to call the comparison trap, and because I got stuck in this comparison trap, eventually I compromised who I was so much that I completely lost who I was as a person. 

Have you have done that? Have you ever walked into a room, saw another girl or group of girls and began to compare yourself with them? I’m not talking about from a “Who does she think she is” mentality or an , “I’m better than you” mentality, but from an “I wish I was ____ like her?”

I wish I was thin like her. I wish I was beautiful like her. I wish I was as trendy as her. I wish my hair was as beautiful as hers. I wish my face was as clear as hers. I wish I had friends like her.” 

If this answer is yes, you’re not alone! 

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