144. Letting Go of Shame, Guilt & Regret

In part one of this series, we talked about how to keep ourselves from losing positions so that we don’t find ourselves in a low place asking ourselves, “How did I get here?”

As a teen, I found myself in these places so often. I didn’t give my life to Jesus until I was 17 and I had a lot of learning, a lot of shame, a lot of guilt, a lot of regret that I couldn’t let go of…most of those because of choices I made that got me to that place where I was asking myself, “how did I get here?”

When I was a teenager, I didn’t have the best track record for choosing guys. Now, granted, I wasn’t a Christian until I was 17, but goodness…I could have taught you all what not to do! Well, I kind of do with my podcast episodes, by sharing my stories with you.  

I want you to realize that if you are feeling this way, you are not alone. I know there are many girls who are listening to this walking through something similar, but there is hope. You can become free! 

Freedom starts with forgiveness. Forgiving yourself and forgiving those who have hurt you. When we hold onto unforgiveness, it hurts us. 

1. Forgiveness is the choice to let go of the desire to hurt those that hurt you…including yourself.  
2. Forgiveness is not weakness. It gives you the power to take your life back from the person who hurt you.
3.  When you choose to forgive, that’s when you find freedom.
4. Forgiveness is not a gift to the offender. It’s a gift to you. When you have unforgiveness, you hold onto your past. You are stuck and not able to step toward your God-given destiny. 
5. Forgiveness doesn’t start with their apology. Sometimes they will never apologize. Sometimes they will never be sorry. When you hold onto unforgiveness, that person is still controlling you.
6. Forgiveness is a choice made by faith. Choices lead…and feelings will follow. If you wait for a feeling, you’ll never forgive. 

True freedom comes from the Word.

John 8:31-32 tells us Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”


In order to really know the Word of God and step into the freedom He has for us, we have to know the Word. Not just know it in our heads but know it in our hearts. We do that by renewing our minds to God’s Word. 


Romans 12:2 says in the NLT version, Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.


The battle of shame, guilt and regret is a battle in our mind. The Bible helps us renew our minds and when that happens, our thoughts line up with God’s thoughts and we are able to step into true freedom.

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